Use me once..Use me twice.. The end

Yesterday I had a hard day. I chose to wait to write about it because someone such as myself has a hard enough time not going overboard.

In previous stories I talked about being used and the effect the realization it had on me. This time the situation is or was completely different. I wasnt just an opportunity for one night. This time it seems like everything was plotted. Cold and heartless is exactly what he was. I am asking myself this today “He says he loves her but, how do u use another person if your love is that strong?” I honestly dont think that person knows one thing about loving anyone but himself. First I experienced true pain.. the kind that actually makes you cry and wish you had payed more attention to the signs. He never looked away when he fed me “I love you” as if he wanted to judge his lies and see if I believed him. His eyes lacked a  certain ammount of empathy. Truth be told..  You always hear people say “Everyone deserves love” No. They don’t. Some people get exactly what they deserve. My pain quickly turned to hatred, and I couldnt have cared less if he lived until tomorrow. Why though? Hate just weakens the mind and you cant see any of the good things you are so blessed to have. I may have been upset last night but I woke up this morning feeling light, he knocked me down but I decided that in the end he wasnt anything more than mud on my feet, not the quicksand I imagined. How can I let him take away every piece of happiness I have hope in finding? That would imply hes won some kind of control over me. Let him dictate and fuck up his own life.. This is the last entry I will ever make reference to him in again. The past in just that, the past. I’m looking up to the sky and searching for my perfect new chapter.

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